Hi everyone, I just wanted to write quickly and give you an update. I know I said I wasn't going to blog for two weeks, but I found myself with a calm moment and a glass of wine, so I thought I'd post.
I am having some pretty major life stuff going on right now. It's very personal and certainly not something I want to blast out on the internet, but it's been a very tiring, upsetting and traumatic week for me. For the record, everything with Eric, Molly, my job and my health are fantastic, it's nothing to do with that. Honestly even if I were the type to be TMI on the internet, you wouldn't believe me if I told you all the crap that's going on. I'm not trying to be coy, I just literally can't and won't blog about specifics, but at the same time I wanted you guys to know that things were going on and my life is going to be a bit weird for I don't know how long. You may notice that I'm not my usual goofball self for awhile because honestly, my world is a bit upside down right now.
Right now, I am so grateful for running. It would have been very easy this week to have just said screw it to the whole running thing, and not a single soul who knows what's going on would have blamed me. But fate has a funny way of working sometimes, and part of me wonders if fate had me sign up for this marathon to have something positive to focus on in the middle of a storm. Short of a massive injury, there is no opting out of this marathon for me. Between train tickets, a house rental, and the entry fee, there is too much money invested in this. My aunt, uncle and Eric are involved, I love them all very much, and I don't want to let them down. Most importantly, I don't want to let myself down. I've invested a lot of my time and energy into training, and I refuse to let the bullshit that's going on "win". I can't and won't blow off this training. I've only been running twice this week, but it definitely helped my stress levels and made me feel normal during a very abnormal week. And I have the feeling that crossing that finish line in November is going to signify lots of things. Bettering myself, bettering my running times, and also rising above a tough fucking year. I'm actually ready to face the challenge.
I was supposed to run 10 miles tonight but only made it 6 miles thanks to a faulty bladder. But you know, I'm not even mad at myself because I got out there and ran. I know I'll do better next week. I'm not worried about it. To me, the mileage this week matters less than the fact that I refused to be defeated this week.
It may take me a bit to get back into a regular posting rhythm, but of course I am not going to stop blogging anymore than I'm going to stop running. Thanks for understanding and reading as always!