Saturday, September 26, 2015

Catching Up

Due to continuing family stuff this week, I spent yet another week without doing any runs on my training schedule other than my long run today.  Just putting that out for full disclosure, but I am happy to say that through sheer determination/anxiety, I have caught myself up mileage wise to my training plan!

See, last week my schedule had me doing a 13 mile run, and I only did 11 miles because not only was I not trained up to a 13 mile distance, but I hadn't even done a double digit run yet.  Yikes!  Today I walked out of the door intending to do 13 miles, even though my schedule had me at 14.  Then as I started driving towards my running spot I was like you know, just screw it, I'm going to go the full 14 mile distance I was supposed to do.  I am just way too anxious about how far behind I am in my training plan, and even though doing a jump in mileage that high isn't great for you, I knew that doing it would put my mind at ease and allow me to fully jump back into my training plan next week with a clear conscience.

I got started later than normal, more like 7:10 am as opposed to the 6:30 am I prefer, but now that the weather is calming the eff down it's not nearly as big of a deal to go a little later.  The run started out pretty well, it was cool and there was such a nice little breeze, although the humidity is still in the 80 percentile range and that annoys me!  It causes such havoc with my breathing.  Physically though I felt pretty good, and I could tell that my pace was pretty fast.  Unfortunately when my Garmin is on interval mode, I can't keep track of my pace in real time, I don't have any way of knowing how fast I'm going.  Kind of blows, but it's not the biggest deal.  The one thing that I was musing to myself about today is how I wish I'd started using the interval function sooner, not even so much due to the Galloway aspect, but because my crazy brain responds to seeing mileage taken away rather than being added.  It's utterly bizarre, I feel totally bummed out and like the run is excruciatingly long if it's on the normal setting.  But there is something about the interval thing that tricks me into thinking "oh I only have this much left to go."  Especially when I get out of the double digit range and have thoughts like "I only have 9 miles left to go," which sounds insane because 9 miles is a long distance!  I guess whatever works for positive thinking right?

Fall colors are in full swing and it's just beautiful outside.  There is nothing more relaxing that hearing that rhythmic crunching of your feet over dry leaves, it's seriously the best.  Even though I would have preferred a cloudy day, the sun hitting the leaves made for such gorgeous colors, especially on the yellow ones.  It creates this blazing gold effect that of course my cell phone camera can't do justice to!

I had another neighborhood cat come out and tell me hi, in fact this one ran across the street and flopped in front of my feet so I would pet it!  I suppose I am a "dog person" were you to pin me down and ask, though I adore all animals, and I really love friendly cats.  They are so cute when they roll around.

The end of my run was definitely tough, my legs get really fatigued and crampy, plus my foot was singing Ave Maria pretty early on in the run. I was better about icing my foot and stretching it out this week, which got it to a pretty solid point, but then the run totally aggravated it.  It didn't get really bad until I had 5 miles left, and then it was pretty painful from then on.  I also need to start researching what I can do to keep my legs from feeling SO fatigued, I mean obviously a 14 mile run isn't going to make them feel great, but I feel like they are more tired and shot than they should be.  I had to walk the last 3 miles because I had nothing left in my legs, which sucks because from an energy level I had plenty in the tank to run, my legs just simply wouldn't allow it.  I was thinking back to my first marathon training and realized that my legs had never felt this tired because I didn't run a whole lot!  Now that I'm doing the run/walk intervals I'm getting a lot more consistent running in.  I guess if you look at it like that, it's a positive thing.

I finished in 3 hours and 21 minutes with an average pace of 14:24.  And I managed to smile at the end if you can believe it!

I feel positive about my pace for the most part, I just want to start getting a handle on this leg fatigue and foot pain so that I'm not having to walk so much in the end.  The walk breaks on the intervals go by so fast, but the unplanned walking feels like it takes  Mainly though, I'm just happy and relieved that I am caught up to my training plan distance wise and can just carry on like normal.  It's definitely time and I feel that calm and happy feeling that I get when I know that my head is back in the game.  I took much needed time and space to be kind to myself emotionally even though I knew it wasn't going to be kind to my waist.  I feel like it's definitely time to switch gears back to being a little more regimented and focusing on losing weight again.

The rest of the weekend is going to be blissfully empty for the most part.  Today we're going to see Black Mass, which I've been eagerly waiting for since it actually looks like it will be good.  We're excited in general that awards season movies are starting to roll into the theater, since we pretty much live for what we call the "Oscar run".  Tomorrow I'll have my shelter shift and then it will be football and monitoring my fantasy football teams to see which of my players have career ending injuries this week!

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

So Long Summer, Challenges and Tetrazzini

Chicken Tetrazzini Recipe Review

I've been meaning to post another recipe review of a casserole I did last week, and just keep getting delayed!  Eric and I have a little inside joke about Chicken Tetrazzini because of this Maury clip that we saw on The Soup many years ago.  We constantly quote it, so much hay was made when I actually made Chicken Tetrazzini.  

Anyways, last week I made the Chicken Tetrazzini casserole from Cooking Light and it was AMAZING.  After the disappointment of the Chicken Spaghetti, this was exactly what I am looking for in a casserole.  Creamy, comforting, stick to your ribs and plenty of leftovers.  I made the casserole exactly as is, (except I used cooking sherry and omitted the salt since the sherry is salted) and it came out perfect.  I did use spaghetti since I think basically it's the same thing as vermicelli.  The one thing I would do the next time is add a couple cups of frozen peas before baking and add some extra mushrooms, just because those are things I like.  If you are interested in the recipe, here you go.

Last Day of Summer

Yesterday we said farewell to summer, except my version of farewell is more like "Bye bitch!"  Truly it was the worst summer that I have experienced since moving to Oregon, and I am glad to be done with it.  Things are definitely cooling down, and *gasp* we actually had a lap blanket on last night when sitting on the couch!  I am so relieved.  The week has been pretty terrible, so last night I insisted we go for a "family walk".  Poor Molly doesn't get any long walks in the nice neighborhood since I started working again, she has to make do with a short 15 minute one in the mornings while I'm on "hopefully there's not a crackhead in the bushes" alert, so I thought it would be nice for her to get a proper walk.  And you know, nice for us to get a proper walk too!

It was a perfect evening, the sun was shining but there was a soft breeze and it was about 70 degrees.  Not that many people were out walking, so it was very quiet and relaxing.  It's the first time I've felt somewhat normal in awhile.  We had a nice conversation, Molly took like 900 dumps then proceeded to look miserable because we were walking her longer than 20 minutes.  We made her walk 1.57 miles, which in her little pecan sized brain that equates to an ultra marathon.


I have neglected to mention this, but my ladies group has been having a mileage challenge for the past couple of months.  We were striving to hit 1000 miles (biking, running, walking etc) as a group by the end of September, and we are already over 1000!  This morning we decided to keep the challenge going and try for 2000 miles by the end of October.  My ladies are such bad asses that I have no doubt we will hit our goal!  I don't know why, but the challenge has really motivated to move at least a little bit every day.  It's sort of like, I don't want to look lame plus I want to do my part for the group and not let them down, so at a minimum I've been getting in my two miles of walking every day at work.  It's been really nice.  We are also doing a concurrent challenge that's Star Wars related, and the goal is to have at least 30 minutes of activity per day until the premiere of Star Wars:  The Force Awakens.  (We're sexy, active nerds).  If we don't break the streak, that will be 100 days of activity.  I'm proud to say that I am going strong on whatever day this now is lol.  Day 80 something?

So those are positive challenges, but I am still dealing with my personal challenges which are not very positive at all.  I feel slightly more comfortable about elaborating what is going on just so you guys aren't like "what is this bitch going on about with her vague shit".  In a nutshell, there has been a crisis going on in my family due to some recent revelations about a family member, and it has been very painful and shocking.  My day to day is filled with frantic phone calls and emails from family members and all of us trying to find a way to cope with our shock and grief.  To say this has been the worst month in my 35 years of living is not an understatement.  This week things have kind of come to a head, and I had to make the unfortunate decision to cease contact with this close family member who has caused the upheaval.  This is not a decision that was made lightly, or without extreme pain, tears and immense grief.  It feels unnatural and shitty, it literally feels like I am dealing with the death of this person, but unfortunately it's the only choice that made sense due to the circumstances.  That's honestly all I can share about it without writing the prose version of the most white trash episode of the Jerry Springer Show in existence.  I hope that makes things more clear and helps you guys somewhat understand what I've been dealing with.  It has been so difficult to eat healthy and exercise simply because I'm grieving, and because this situation is on my mind from the minute I wake up until the minute I lay down at night.  Does anyone remember what it was like for the week after 9/11, or when someone dies, and you are numb, doing your best to keep moving and you eventually have a moment where you catch yourself laughing or having fun, and then you feel immense guilt?  That's what this has been like.

But, now that I've made my final decision, I have to attempt to move on with the new normal. and that includes maintaining my health and continuing to progress with my weight loss and running.  It's really all I can do at this point.  It's really not easy, and I feel so unlike myself simply because my reality as I knew it doesn't exist any longer, and I'm literally trying to redefine my existence.  All I can do is try my best.

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Double Digits, Drinking and Dogs

Lots to update you guys on, so let's get right to it!

I ran 11 miles!

Obviously this was the highlight of the weekend, and I cannot tell you guys how much I needed this run.  I needed it mentally and physically, so achieving it was a huge deal for me.  I have been so depressed lately and the combination of not running/running in pain has just added to the depression.  I was genuinely beginning to freak out that I have not completed a double digit run in my training program yet, so yesterday was basically a situation where it had to happen.  I have also not had a lot to feel good about lately, so I needed an accomplishment and needed to feel like I was actually moving forward if that makes any sense.

The weather continues to suck, although it was cooler the humidity was 96%.  I mean....all I can say is that I can't wait for fall to get here.

The beginning of the run was great and I actually had plenty of energy and felt like I was going pretty fast.  I brought a baggie of Shot Bloks with me instead of leaving them in the car like I usually do, and I really felt like that made a difference.  Every once in awhile I'd just pop one in my mouth and let it dissolve instead of chewing it, which not only seemed to give me pretty consistent energy, but also kept my mouth from being so dry!  My foot didn't really start giving me grief until mile 8, which seemed to be about the time it gave me grief last week.  I was so proud of myself, I was able to push myself consistently do my run/walk intervals until the last mile and a half, then had to walk the rest of the mileage since my legs just had nothing left.  I remember my last training, I walked SO much and it would take me so long to do my mileage, so to only walk a mile and a half (not including the walk intervals of course) makes me so proud!

One of my favorite things on runs is that sometimes animal friends will come out and tell me hello, which always brightens my day and cheers me up when things are tough.  Yesterday I had to stop to pet and admire this very sweet kitty who sauntered into my path and also thought my running shoes made a pretty awesome spot to rub all over.

I also took a selfie to send to my ladies group mid-run, with a special request to slap me if I ever signed up for a marathon ever again.  I know they'd never slap me, but they should.  ;)

I finished up in 2 hours and 37 minutes with an average pace of 14:19.  I am actually really pleased with that, I feel like if I continue managing my pain and strengthening my legs then I will slowly improve.  Maybe I'll actually finish this marathon faster than 7 hours.  ;)  My foot did hurt post run, but it's actually not has severe as it has been.  I think switching back to my old shoes helped, and icing has helped.  I've just got to keep on that program!

Fun but busy weekend

We have been running around like crazy people all weekend, and I'm not going to lie, I'm a wee bit hungover today!  But I had a lot of much needed fun, so I suppose that's what counts!  Last night I went to a birthday party for one of my old coworkers.  (Happy early birthday Arran!) We realized that we hadn't seen one another in almost a year!  It's crazy how quickly time is passing.  Eric and I got down to Portland super early, so we ended up ducking into this cool bar he'd been wanting to try.  They were starting to celebrate Octoberfest, so the bartender immediately handed me some beads.  It took me about 20 minutes to realize the beads were little beer mugs!

I figured you guys would appreciate seeing a picture of me where I have on makeup and my hair doesn't look like a hot mess spread on a Ritz.

The party started at this cool Mexican place that I hadn't been to before.  The food was really good, as were the margaritas, and I had a good time catching up with two of my other old coworkers.  After dinner we headed off to karaoke, which was a total blast.  My friend Dave is an attention whore (his words, not mine), so he was very funny up at the mic and also wanted to sing with everyone.  We ended up doing a couple of duets together, which was a lot of fun.  I got pretty sloshed and brought the mood of the room down with some Amy Winehouse, but people said I was decent so that was nice I suppose.  (liars!)  After karaoke we cajoled Dave into going back with us to the bar we started at and having a beer, which I absolutely didn't need but enjoyed nevertheless.

Tonight we are actually having dinner at Dave's house.  He and his family are moving away in October, which is completely a bummer since he's one of my closet friends, so I'm trying to get in as much time with him as I can before he leaves!

Shelter work

I had a great shift at the shelter today, it was one of those days that was very fulfilling and made me really happy.  I walked in and there were barely any dishes and really not that much laundry, which was so nice because I was actually able to spend time with the dogs!  There were quite a few in there today, so I had my work cut out for me!  I am a level one person, so the only thing I'm allowed to do is work with the dogs outside of the cage.  Basically you talk sweetly to them and reward good behaviors you see, such as sitting, being calm/quiet and that type of thing.  When I first got there some of the smaller dogs were super yappy, which was a bit overwhelming, but as I started walking through and they became focused on me and getting treats, they settled quite a bit.

Some people ask me if it's depressing being in there, and honestly it's really not.  A big part of my job is cleaning, so it feels good making sure that the animals have plenty of clean dishes and bedding.  When they get walked by the upper level volunteers I have to go in and clean the kennels, so making sure the dogs have a clean and comfortable environment to relax in feels good.  The other big part of our job is the interaction part I was just talking about, so the dogs constantly have volunteers coming through and talking to them, giving them treats, praising them and teaching them good behaviors.  They also get interactive Kongs twice a day and get taken out for walks by volunteers a lot, so they get a lot of positive interaction and mental stimulation.  I'm very happy that I chose to volunteer at a small shelter where they are able to really spend a lot of time with the animals and give them the attention they deserve.  It's fun to watch the shy or aggressive dogs become more trusting and relaxed with us, especially since that will increase their chance at finding a forever home!

Thursday, September 17, 2015

New Recipes and Old Dudes

I didn't post about this on my last post, but over the weekend I made a ton of casseroles and soup bases to stock my freezer from recipes I found on Cooking Light's website, so I thought that as I ate them that I'd review the recipes.  I didn't take pictures because 1) I forgot and 2) none of the dishes exactly looked appetizing so you're not missing much.  Casseroles generally look gross and taste awesome.  Anyway, I'm trying to find my stride again with posting and life in general, so thanks for bearing with me on the disjointed posts and lack of fun pictures.

Cooking Tips

Before we get started on the recipe reviews, I did want to give a couple of tips for making soups/casseroles in bulk.  Actually, it's just tips for life man.

1).  Cut up your vegetables with a food processor.  Seriously, if you don't have a food processor, don't even finish reading this.  Get your shoes on, go to the store and buy a food processor.  They're like $20.  It will change your life.  So many people in the reviews for these recipes were bitching about how much time it took to chop up vegetables, and it honestly doesn't need to be that way.  I use a processor to chop onions, celery, carrots, bell pepper and mushrooms, then store them each in their own tupperware.  It takes seconds to chop an onion into tiny pieces, plus I don't feel like I got tear gassed in a Vietnam protest.  You just throw the shit in there, hit pulse a few times until it's chopped however finely you want, and then BOOM.  Done.  It makes food prep 100 times easier and more pleasurable, plus when you are making things in bulk it is so FAST.  Chopping all of the above ingredients took me maybe 15 minutes since I chopped each separately and rinsed the base in between.  Even if you're not cooking in bulk, you could do it as a tactic to have already prepped ingredients for cooking throughout the week.

2)  Use a Kitchen Aid mixer to shred chicken.  When the beautiful Anna told me about this tip awhile back I kind of scrunched my face and was like "nah brah."  There's no way that would ever work in a million years.  It's anarchy.  But when I was faced with making 2 separate casseroles that required shredded chicken, I decided to give it a whirl.  Holy shit y'all....I had a moment like I had when I figured out you could bake a ton of sweet potatoes in the crockpot at once.  It looked something like this:

I have never in my life been able to get chicken to shred so nicely as I did with this method.  It's exactly as it sounds, just put your cooked chicken in the Kitchen Aid with the paddle attachment, turn it on and watch it work.  I had plenty of shredded chicken for my casseroles, plus some left over to make a really nice tarragon chicken salad.  Between the food processor tip and this tip, prepping to make all of this stuff was so much easier and faster.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, on to the reviews!

Chicken Spaghetti

So if you are from the South, you likely know about the glorious casserole that is chicken spaghetti.  It's a staple of potlucks and Dinner on the Ground at church, and it's honestly something no human should eat since it contains an ungodly amount of Velveeta.  I am all about fresh ingredients, free range this, organic that...but put a pan of chicken spaghetti in front of me (ie Velveeta, shredded chicken, spaghetti, Rotel tomatoes and canned soup), and it's on like Donkey Kong.  Love the stuff, but it's definitely not something that enters my mind to make since it is so unhealthy, so I was pretty excited to see that Cooking Light had a "healthy" version of chicken spaghetti.  Here is the recipe, if you are so inclined.

The verdict?  From a taste standpoint I really liked it, from a looks/function standpoint it was a bit of a disaster.  Mine ended up more like a stew and did not hold together at all.  Anna from Losing My Puppy also made it, and had a total different experience but she also used ziti instead of spaghetti so after comparing notes, we suspected that maybe her pasta soaked up more of the liquid.  Again the taste was pretty good so it wasn't a loss, I was just aggravated at having to basically ladle it out of the casserole dish.  It's a good base recipe that I would make again, but definitely with modifications.  For one, I would sautee the veggies a bit since they stayed crunchy despite being in tiny pieces.  I didn't mind so much, but the hubby did.  I would also either totally omit the broth or just put a splash into the soup to thin it out just a titch.

Lentil Soup with Ham and Greens

Lentils are something I actually like but rarely eat for some reason.  I don't really know why.  They taste pretty good, they cook quickly and are good for you.  I will say that I don't care for the red ones which seem to turn into mush within seconds, but am a huge fan of green French lentils and a secondary fan of the brown ones that stay fairly firm but do have some nice give to them.  I had some lentils in my pantry that I've been meaning to use up, so I pulled a few lentil soup recipes to try and this was one of them.

The verdict?  I really liked this one guys.  It was very easy and very flavorful, packed with veggies and the ham gave it a nice depth.  I used regular old ham like you get for sandwiches at the deli, plus frozen spinach.  Otherwise I made it as is and loved it, so if you'd like the recipe, here you go.

Life Stuff

We have an insanely busy couple of weeks coming up, which I don't know whether that's a positive thing or not.  I really could use some down time, but on the other hand all of this stuff is fun stuff, so maybe it will be a nice break and distraction from what we've been dealing with.  Tonight Eric and I are going to see Def Leppard/Tesla/Styx, which is going to be really fun.  This is actually my third time to see Def Leppard and they always put on a great show and sound fantastic.  I am eager to see Tesla, and they should also be fun.  Styx I could honestly give a rat's ass about, plus "Come Sail Away" makes me want to drive a screwdriver into my brain, but they are part of the package deal.  We've gotten so many giggles and eye rolls over the fact we're going to see Def Leppard, but guess who has two thumbs and does not give a damn?  ;)

To close, my running has not been great this week, in fact it's been non-existent.  I'm going to do my long run Saturday, and then really try to sit down and figure out how to get back into my schedule and get back into a groove.  Some of it is my foot, which is still in pain, but most of my lack of motivation is all the stuff going on behind the scenes.  I know it sounds like excuses, but I promise if you guys knew more then you'd understand where I'm coming from.  At some point hopefully I can share more details, I just can't right now.  It's just been a very difficult month, there is so much uncertainty in my future and I'm really having to fight to find that motivation and energy.  I'm not going to stop fighting though, and honestly can't since I'm obligated from both a monetary standpoint and heart standpoint to Seattle.  Anyways, I will keep you guys posted!  

Monday, September 14, 2015

Five Will Get You Ten

First of all, I have "Mack The Knife" stuck in my head, hence the post title that makes no sense.

Oh man, I've been saying "oh I need to write a post" for like five days now and then get occupied doing something else.  I am so overdue on updates!  I'm just going to do bullet points because it's easy, and I don't have fancy pictures to share.

  • My world is still weird and will continue to be for the foreseeable future sadly.  But life must go on so, I'm doing my best.
  • My running is still compromised a bit because I am unfortunately facing a horrible plantar fasciitis flare up..  I went out on Saturday intending to do an 11 mile run and only made it 8 miles because I was in such agony that I couldn't keep going.  In a normal world, 8 miles is great, but when you are in week 6 of marathon training and still have not done a double digit mile run, it's really not good.  I cannot tell you how discouraged I am about it, PF took me down for 2 years and I fought so hard to get back to running, yet here I am again.  It's Monday and my foot is still bothering me pretty bad.  I suspect it's my "new" running shoes, which have always felt slightly different to me despite being the same brand, model and size.  I switched back to my old marathon shoes, but it seems like the damage has been already done.  Sigh.  I will keep you guys posted.
  • I switched to my new shelter shift on Sunday and it works so much better for me!  It is challenging because I'm the only person there on my shift, so I'm doing tons of laundry and dishes all by myself, and I don't have as much time to socialize with the dogs.  But on the same token, I kind of like being by myself and feel like I'm really getting things done.  I was working with two other people on my last shift and it always felt like we were twiddling our thumbs because there wasn't enough for 3 people, so at least now I feel like I am actually helping.  At some point I'd like to get my level 2 certification, which would give me authority to be with the dogs in their kennels and also possibly walk them.  I'm still loving the experience and I'm really glad I'm doing it!
  • The weather is finally effing cooling down.  We literally had 90 degree weather last week, which talk about the ultimate "I give up."  Today was in the 60s and raining and is supposed to be like that for the rest of the week.  I was able to put on lounge pants tonight if you can believe it!
  • I don't know if I ever made the biggest deal about this, though it's something I've mentioned dealing with on and off but I have and have been having GI issues that are pretty severe.  I mean I won't go in too much detail, especially since I'd like the keep the handful of blog readers I have, but basically I have issues with going "big potty".  Like, it doesn't happen without over the counter medication type issues.  It literally does not matter how much water I drink, fiber I eat or any of that, in fact I find that the healthier I eat the worse things are.  There is pretty much nothing you could suggest to me that I haven't already tried 19 times.  It's been like this on and off for about two years and I am tired of living in constant discomfort, so I am going to a GI doctor next week.  Keep your fingers crossed for me!  I generally am very mistrustful of doctors because I find that they don't listen or take me seriously, but I'm trying to think positive on this! 
That's about it on the updates.  I am going to test my foot out again on Wednesday for a short 4 miler, and hopefully will have good things to report back!

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Labor Day Weekend

I'm trying to "normalize" so I thought I'd just do a little post about the weekend, and warning, there are so many selfies ahead!  ;)

On Saturday I was supposed to do my volunteer shift at the animal shelter, but with all the stuff going on in my life I needed a break.  You know when bad shit is going down, and you just try to keep super busy in order to not have to stop and think?  Well, that's exactly what I was doing all of last week, so when Saturday morning hit I suddenly was like, I can't do this today, I have to physically stop.  So I called the shelter tech line and postponed my volunteer hours to another day.  I also emailed my volunteer coordinator to see if I could switch my days from Saturday to Sunday, since I think that would work much better for my running schedule.  Now I can do my long run days on Saturdays, and Sundays can be for the shelter dogs and football.  ;)  You know, the important stuff.  Seriously, I remember that being a huge thing that depressed me during my last training, was not being able to watch football since it took me so long to do my long runs!

Speaking of football, we had our family league draft on Saturday evening.  My aunt and uncle came over and we set up a second laptop with video Skype for my brother and SIL to be in the room with us so to speak.  It was a lot of fun and we definitely all needed some of that!  There was drama when Eric drafted Drew Brees out from under my aunt, when I (fueled by beer) screamed outside at someone who would NOT shut their dog up and when a storm hit my brother's house and it sounded like a bomb went off when lightning struck near their house.  I do NOT miss those storms in Louisiana!

Mah teams!

On Sunday we went to Portland to see a documentary on Marlon Brando called "Listen To Me Marlon".  It was very fascinating so if you are a Brando fan I would highly recommend it.  Brando made hundreds of private tapes where he was just speaking to himself, so the whole documentary is just his voice, talking about his life.  No one else is interviewed, so it is incredibly unique on that front.  And good God, I forgot how sexy Marlon was when he was young.  I grew up in the chunky Brando era, so it was easy to forget young Brando's hotness.  Oh man alive...there was so much footage that made this middle aged lass' heart skip several beats.

I also decided to be an annoying millennial and take a selfie with the movie poster.  Eric cracked up at it and was like, you actually managed to even have the piece of hair dangling down in the same spot.  For the record I didn't plan that, it just kind of happened because I am awesome.

I also forgot to mention this, but a couple of weeks ago we went to see that "End of the Tour" movie with Jason Segal.  It was EXCELLENT and JS was surprisingly great as a serious actor.  We are already gearing up and plotting out our Oscar movie run, and we suspect possibly that might be one of them, but it's too early to tell.

Yesterday I attempted to go for a 5 mile run and wasn't very successful.  I made it the full 5 miles but only ran 2.5 of it.  We are getting hit with another heatwave, and of course it started yesterday which was a lot of my issue.  I was also just very emotional and struggling with things.  Sometimes running will do the chemical thing where it practically makes you high, and it puts you in the best mood ever.  And then sometimes when you've been compartmentalizing feelings, it's the thing that strips you raw and brings everything into the open, which is what happened to me yesterday.  I was a mess, so I finally gave myself permission to walk as long as I did the 5 mile distance.  I didn't feel good about it really when I was finished, but at the very least I'm not curled up in the house.  I figure that I'll fake it till I make it when it comes to my running mojo/schedule.  I know things will get back to a somewhat normal point, it's just going to take me a bit.

And finally, I swore mentally up and down that I was going to be an adult and not get any Star Wars gear.  I'm 35 and super mature, and there is no sense in going to the boys department and getting a shirt...oh screw it....

For the record, I got socks too.

Friday, September 4, 2015

A Run and An Update

Hi everyone, I just wanted to write quickly and give you an update.  I know I said I wasn't going to blog for two weeks, but I found myself with a calm moment and a glass of wine, so I thought I'd post.

I am having some pretty major life stuff going on right now.  It's very personal and certainly not something I want to blast out on the internet, but it's been a very tiring, upsetting and traumatic week for me.  For the record, everything with Eric, Molly, my job and my health are fantastic, it's nothing to do with that.  Honestly even if I were the type to be TMI on the internet, you wouldn't believe me if I told you all the crap that's going on.  I'm not trying to be coy, I just literally can't and won't blog about specifics, but at the same time I wanted you guys to know that things were going on and my life is going to be a bit weird for I don't know how long.  You may notice that I'm not my usual goofball self for awhile because honestly, my world is a bit upside down right now.

Right now, I am so grateful for running.  It would have been very easy this week to have just said screw it to the whole running thing, and not a single soul who knows what's going on would have blamed me.  But fate has a funny way of working sometimes, and part of me wonders if fate had me sign up for this marathon to have something positive to focus on in the middle of a storm.  Short of a massive injury, there is no opting out of this marathon for me.  Between train tickets, a house rental, and the entry fee, there is too much money invested in this.  My aunt, uncle and Eric are involved, I love them all very much, and I don't want to let them down.  Most importantly, I don't want to let myself down.  I've invested a lot of my time and energy into training, and I refuse to let the bullshit that's going on "win".  I can't and won't blow off this training.  I've only been running twice this week, but it definitely helped my stress levels and made me feel normal during a very abnormal week.  And I have the feeling that crossing that finish line in November is going to signify lots of things.  Bettering myself, bettering my running times, and also rising above a tough fucking year.  I'm actually ready to face the challenge.

I was supposed to run 10 miles tonight but only made it 6 miles thanks to a faulty bladder.  But you know, I'm not even mad at myself because I got out there and ran.  I know I'll do better next week.  I'm not worried about it.  To me, the mileage this week matters less than the fact that I refused to be defeated this week.

It may take me a bit to get back into a regular posting rhythm, but of course I am not going to stop blogging anymore than I'm going to stop running.  Thanks for understanding and reading as always!

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Taking a Break

Hey everyone!  Just wanted to let you know that I am not going to be able to write in the blog for a couple of weeks.  I have some stuff going on behind the scenes that needs attention, but I didn't want to leave you guys hanging and being like ummmmmmm did she die or drop off the face of the earth?

The break from blogging doesn't mean a break from running though!  I did my 8 miler last Friday and it went somewhat okay (finished but was overheated) and I am going for my 5 miler tonight.  If you guys are linked up with me on Facebook, I may post my mileage there for accountability.

Hold tight guys, I'll be back soon!