Friday, May 29, 2015

Teen Steam and the Starlight Run

This is literally me right now:

It. Is. So. Hot.  Y'all just saddle up, because you'll be hearing me bitch about this until September.  It's officially that time of year where everyone else is pulling out their halter tops and blasting Katy Perry's "California Gurls" while squealing "Yay for summer!" while I want to cower in an igloo with my Dean Martin Christmas album until the worst of it is over.  I am really not looking forward to the headaches, depression and misery that come with summer.  Even the dog was miserable and inconsolable last night and kept looking at me like I'M the a-hole causing the heat.  It's supposed to get to 89 degrees today and my house is already 75 on the inside because we don't have central air.  We do have a portable AC that somewhat helps, and you can bet your sweet ass I'll be dragging that puppy out today.

All of the heat and humidity made me think of the really awful exercise video that Alyssa Milano made back in the 80's called "Teen Steam".  Does anyone else remember this travesty?  Every time it gets hot I find myself singing this silly ass theme song, though my birthday has not involved a "teen" age in many years.  I put a little clip below to bring back some good 80's memories, and it's really worth watching for roughly 2 minutes.

We've talked about this before but, shit was so weird in the 80s,  and I say that as a kid who grew up halfway in the 80s.  I love how she's trying to be all sexy at the beginning of the video when she's talking and it's like, but you're twelve.  And what's up with the guy randomly coming out of the mirror, and she's all cool and nonchalant about it?  Um if some guy randomly walks through mirrors in my bedroom, they are getting pepper sprayed.  Of course the real treat is the song and its poetic lyrics about how stressful it is to be a teenager.  Bitch please.  Pay bills every month while keeping up a household and holding down a job and then tell me about needing to let out steam.  My fave lyrics are something about "living on the edge" and it's like Alyssa girl, you are about as edgy as a Babybel cheese, but I love ya anyway.

Anyways when it gets hot, I inevitably start singing "Teen steeeeam, gotta let it out."  Every.  Time.

Totally have forgot to mention this (I think?), but I am actually running in a 5k tomorrow!  It's the Starlight Run, and it happens right before the Starlight Parade in downtown Portland.  It's the Rose Festival right now and the Starlight is the last big hoopty lah before the Grand Floral Parade on Sunday.  I have never run in this race and I am slightly nervous because they are pretty strict on the whole "you need to run the whole race because we've got a parade to start, and ain't nobody got time for your walking."  I will be honest, I haven't run since that 5 miler in Lake Oswego, so my heart may or may not explode mid-race.  I can probably tough it out though.

Also to show you how well prepared and on it I am, this was roughly the conversation between my aunt and I the other day.  She and my uncle are going to spectate the race with Eric and then we're going to watch the parade afterwards.

Aunt:  "What time does the race start and when do you think we'll need to be down there?"
Me:  "Um, it's sometime at night, I'll need to pull up the link on my phone to see specifically when."
Aunt:  "Where does it start?"
Me:  "Um, I think it starts near Lincoln High School, but I'm not really sure."
Aunt:  "Do you know what the route is?"
Me:  "I think it's just the parade route.....I probably should look at the site before the race huh?"
Aunt:  "Um, probably so!!!!"

It's amazing I pull anything off.  ;)


  1. I lived through the entirety of the 80s and most of the 70s and I gotta say, that was brutal. OH bike shorts and high top tennis shoes. Man its amazing how somethings get blocked from your memory (thankfully)

  2. Oh and good luck at the race! *Yes, you probably need to check out the info about it heh heh*

  3. I only half heartedly checked a website for a race on New Years Eve. We were two hours early. Oops. Good luck at your race!

    Pegged jeans. Perms. Oh the bangs. Yikes

  4. Oh my lord, that video. Amazing.

    I leave my leather jacket inside the mirror all the time, personally.

  5. I am with you on the summer. No more hoodies. :-( Moved in to a house with central AC in October and my husband already has it cranked up...hopefully it can stay cranked when we get the first electrical bill!!

  6. My husband still has a huge crush on Alyssa Milano. I'll have to show him this one. :)