I wanted to start the post off on a good note instead of bitching about my back (even though I'm still going to do that later in the post lol). Anyway, today was my first weigh in of 2015, and it was a good one. I lost all of the weight I gained during Christmas, plus a little extra, so I weighed in at a nice even 211! I am definitely relieved and feel great about being back on track! I looked in the mirror today and actually felt thin and like I could see a difference in how I look, which is rare and always a welcome feeling. It hit me that I am 12 pounds away from being in the 100s (I don't say "onederland" because that phrase makes me want to run screaming into traffic for some reason), I could literally be there by the end of this month. I have been at this since on and off since 2009 and have never been this close to being back in the 100s or even within the vicinity of my goal. I still don't have a target weight in mind really, probably about 140, but maybe the 130s if it doesn't make me look sickly. It's really not that far out out of my reach, which is crazy.
I mostly can't believe that I'm here just by living a normal life. I think that's what I've always wanted to feel, just like a normal person.
So I'm sure you could tell, but my back is still really majorly messed up. It's gone from annoying to kind of concerning honestly. The bizarre thing is that the sharp pinch on the right side of my lower back that I've suffered with for a month is gone, this new woe is now the left side of my back. It's not as awful as it was on Sunday where I could barely bend or move, but it definitely hurts and feels weird. Today I decided to try some of my challenge stuff to see 1) if I could do it 2) pinpoint what may have caused this in the first place. I did my donkey kicks without an issue, but as soon as I tried the plank leg lifts it was like nope, not gonna happen. I cautiously did some squats, and while it didn't hurt, it didn't feel good either. I did part of my dumbbell challenge and initially it felt ok, but within a few minutes my back started feeling really off. It's like OMFG, really, pretty much every challenge I picked for this month hurts me in a bad way? I really did try to study and read about proper form with all of my challenge stuff, but somewhere along the way I hurt myself. Again.
As much as it pains me (no pun intended), I may have to reevaluate January's goals. I really want to gain strength but Jesus, is it going to break my body every time or something? Am I just doing too much? Maybe I did start out with too much weight and that did it? But that's kind of the point of a challenge, SIGH. Anyway, it looks like it's back to the drawing board, and like I'm going to have to redesign what my priorities are for January.
The Blazers game was fun last night. We played the Lakers, and they are a huge rival here and the games are usually pretty high energy from a crowd standpoint. The Blazers have been great so far this season, except of course for last night until the last 4 minutes of the game. We were both getting to the point where it's like really, we're going to lose to the Lakers who are terrible this year? The Blazers finally got their butts in gear and managed to win by 4 points. From what I saw all the fans, Lakers and Blazers, were behaving themselves and being nice to each other, so that's always good to see. I did have a little mental come to Jesus with myself (my husband is going to read this and be like OMG, is this the random crap she's pondering all the time) at the game. A slender, pretty girl sitting in front of us got up and got pizza and a giant beer, and I automatically thought to myself, "Ug, I hate skinny people that can eat whatever they want and not think about it." And I realized, I'm such a bitch for thinking that way and I really shouldn't. I really didn't know her situation. What if she had lost a ton of weight and this was her treat night or something? What if she's eaten sensibly all week and she looked forward to that slice of pizza? It just made me feel bad, especially since I will presumably be in shape some day and be in the same boat, eating something I enjoy that I've worked for. I wouldn't want someone to think mean things like that about me, so I shouldn't do it to other women. I'm just trying to be a nicer person this year, since I don't know that I've always been that. Anyway, it's food for thought, and it should also illustrate how dull the first half of the game was, since I was pondering Zen whatnots.