Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Doctor, Doctor

Well I crossed two goals off my January list yesterday and today, a visit to both the dentist and the lady doc.  I mean, I went to the dentist last week, but had to get the other side of my mouth cleaned today.  That's not until later this afternoon, so I'm sure it will be as magical as the first go around.  Really not looking forward to it, but at least the most intense part of it will be over.

The lady doc was fine and everything went normally.  Not much else really to say there!  I did ask her a lot of questions about my stomach issues, you know, sometimes I have trouble "making things happen" if you get my drift.  It's been better this month, but last month was utter misery.  Anyways, she kind of blew my mind because she said that bananas, apples and tea can constipate you.  I could see bananas doing it, but apples?  I still am skeptical, it's not like I down apples like crazy.  I typically have one or two a week with peanut butter as dessert.  I definitely do not eat many bananas since I don't like them very much.  If tea really does constipate you then I'm screwed, because I funnel that stuff down my throat like a goose being force fed for fois gras.  Sometimes having a hot tea with a touch of sugar is the only thing separating me from whipping up a batch of cookie dough so I can eat the whole bowl raw.  She did recommend that I start drinking more water than just the 8 glasses I'm doing per day.  I inwardly groaned because it's so difficult to get even that much in, I already feel like I'm going to wet my pants half the time.  I suppose I could switch out and have hot lemon water or something while the weather is still cold.

After my lady appointment I met my old coworker/friend Dave (the one who met me at mile 23 of my Portland marathon) and asked him if he wanted to take a walk since my doctor's office was just across the street from my old job.  It made my skin crawl a little to park back in that old parking lot, but we had a really nice long walk and talk.  I hear things all the time that validate why leaving was a good personal decision for me, no matter how anxious I feel about the future sometimes.  It was good to catch up with him.  Someday I'd like to go over for lunch and see more people, although I don't know if I'm emotionally "there" yet.  I miss a lot of people there and it would be good to see them, but I don't know if I miss them enough to darken the doorway of that building!

I also sat down yesterday with the marathon training plan I'm going to use (here if you are interested) and began planning out my training.  I was pleasantly surprised that I am actually going to be starting "for realz" training much later than I thought, mid-August to be precise.  That means my really long runs are going to take place starting in October, and my longest run of 20 miles will be in November.  The reason this is important to me and so exciting is that I won't be suffering in the heat.  That was probably one of my biggest mental and physical challenges with my first marathon, was having to get up so early in the morning to try to somewhat escape the heat, and then having the sun relentlessly beat down on me the entire time.  There were many runs where I cried most of the time because I was so hot and miserable.  I have some kind of reverse seasonal disorder, I actually get extremely depressed when it's summer and it's very hot, so being out there was nothing short of torture for me.  Knowing that my long runs are in October vs July actually is a huge relief and lessens my anxiety.  It will suck to start my training in August because August sucks, but at least the runs won't be long and I can knock them out in 1-2 hours.  This also gives me so much more time to drop extra weight and work on my goal of getting nice and comfortable with 7 mile runs.

I am almost taken aback about how hopeful and excited I am to approach my training this time around.  It's such a difference from where I was at mentally the last time, where I was scared to death and filled with self doubt, and the only thing driving me was crossing a marathon off the bucketlist.  I mean it's not like I think it's going to be easy, but I know it will be easier than the last time.  I get giddy about the prospect of running with less weight on me, now I'm giddy about not having to run too much in the heat, I'm giddy that I know what to expect and what to plan for.  Eric chuckled at me last night because we were talking about my training, and of course since I have an unrelenting love for food and booze I was like "I am excited about long runs because I'll have so many different treats I'll be able to fit in each week!"  I'd like to get something super special that I only eat on long run days, just so there is something to look forward to.  It's like a dog with positive reinforcement, but Ben & Jerry's will be my Snausages.

Can't believe it's already Wednesday.  This month is flying by!


  1. LOL I love that positive reinforcement tool. Sounds like a great reward! And it definitely sounds like you leaving that job was in your best interest. We are about to start beefing up Chris's resume and hitting the applications hot and heavy for him. He's starting to have panic attacks about his current work situation. Nope nope nope. Time to go.

    1. Yeah, get him out of there. There were days towards the end of my last job where I thought I was going to die due to stress. It was a valid concern because of my blood pressure. We had several people we know die last year and that's when it's like nope. Life is short and I don't want what little time I have to be cut short because of this horseshit.

  2. Not sure what your job situation was like, but if it gives you anxiety to be near the building then yeah, good thing you got out. I had a job like that, the owner was a psychopath. I lasted there eight years. I;ve been at my current job almost four years and the thought of that place still gives me the heebie jeebies. I can relate!

    And yay, twinsies coming up with their training plans on the same day! Good luck with yours. I am glad you feel better about it already. And I lvoe the idea of a rewards. Yum Ben & Jerry's. I'm not a big ice cream person, but I love the names of their flavors!

    1. It was a wonderful job for many years, but the last 3 years or so there were a lot of changes and things became increasingly unbearable. Lots of 10-12 hour days, expectations of 24/7 availability, and a general "you're worthless" over any kind of perceived weakness. There were serious creepy George Orwell's "Animal Farm" tones by the time I left. Lots more, but that's it in a nutshell. While I'm responsible and like working, I also have a punk rock/white girl version of Chuck D streak and have a real issue with being told to respect or fear authority that hasn't proven itself to be respectable. I also don't like being told that I shouldn't question things, when a real leader accepts feedback/questioning/suggestions given in a professional manner.