Monday, January 19, 2015


Well it's happened.  For the first time in however many years, I am going to boycott the Superbowl.  Can't do it.  Here comes a rant people, get ready.

So just to educate you just in case a "Petty Things Mary Irrationally Hates" trivia game ever goes viral across the nation, besides Zooey Deschanel, water chestnuts and the Ducks, I really, really, really hate the Seahawks.  Like, "my blood uncharacteristically boils when it usually doesn't over sports" type hate.  I didn't always feel this way, in fact when I moved up here 12 years ago I barely knew the Seahawks existed, and most of Washington/Oregon didn't either.  I NEVER knew of anyone cheering for, talking about or so much as wearing a Seahawks shirt.  It wasn't until they got better that suddenly all of these rabid "fans" started popping out of the woodwork and proclaiming their intense love and forever fandom.  I have friends whom I love dearly who talked shit about the Seahawks and then suddenly started wearing Seahawks shirts as if they'd been #1 fans since 1976.  I'm just calling it like it is.  If there is one thing I despise in sports, it's bandwagon fans.  If you're supposedly rooting for local teams, then just root for them.  Don't pick a team just because they're good right now, because honey, that pendulum eventually swings back.

But I do have serious personal beef.  A few years ago (2010?) we went up to Seattle to watch the wildcard playoff game between Seattle and the Saints.  I was so excited because it was my first in person NFL game, and we went up with my aunt/uncle and some friends.  We got all dressed up to the nines in black/gold boas and Saints gear, popped in some jazz CDs and drove the 3 hours up.  It was the worst experience of my life.  The entire stadium of fans was absolutely insane.  We got physically grabbed multiple times, called "bitch" and the c word, and of course a ton of nasty stuff was said about Hurricane Katrina.  That especially made my blood boil, because it's not hilarious.  People died, people suffered, people's homes were wiped out and there are still deep repercussions that exist to this day because of Katrina.  This is on the minor end of people's experiences during that time, but my parents were without power for almost two weeks and suffering in the heat.  My poor brother was working insane shifts in the heat and humidity and having to go rescue people.  Phone service was spotty, so I could barely get in touch with them to know if they were okay.  No one wants their family to go through that.  There's no punchline hidden in there. I'm sure that would be lost on these fine individuals though.  And we're not talking about a handful of fans doing this, this was everywhere we went.  You go to get a soda, you get grabbed and have "bitch get your ass back to the swamp" screamed at you on the way down.  You clap when your team does something, the guy behind you taps you on the shoulder, flips you off and starts screaming in your face.  I have never seen that much white trash assembled in one place, and I come from a hick boonies town in the South so that's saying something.  Oh the best was the dad in front of us who kept calling the Saints players "f*ggots" with his 5 year old son sitting there, and cheering when a couple of our guys got hurt.  Lovely isn't it?  That's your 12th man Seahawks.  And that's the watered down version of our experience, that's not even every detail of what happened, but I don't want to make this post something you have to infinity scroll.

And for anyone who says, "Well that's what you get for wearing opposing gear".  Go to hell.  Seriously.  If you don't like my team and I'm taunted, like normal good natured sports taunting, I'm a big girl and can handle that.  It's fine.  I think the Saints/Bills and I can all live with the crushing disappointment of you thinking they suck.  Grabbing my arms and calling me a bitch?  No.  Not to get all Je Suis Charlie on everyone, but last I checked wearing a shirt that someone doesn't like shouldn't bring an open season to be physically grabbed by men, screamed at inches from my face and to be physically intimidated for hours.  Not over a stupid football game.  You don't have to prove you're a fan by scaring other people, all you have to do is cheer for your team, keep your hands to yourself and mind your f'ing business.  If the only way you can prove your support of a sports team is by screaming nasty names at women, being racist/sexist/homophobic, and mocking people who suffered through a natural disaster, then your parents did something seriously, seriously wrong in raising you.

I guess I am used to the Blazers games where opposing people sit around home fans without incident all the time, especially the Lakers who are huge rivals.  There is teasing, but there is NEVER vitriol.  I wore my Saints shirts to the Bills backers bar last year when we played the Bills, and I didn't get a single cross word said to me.  You don't have to be a neanderthal to be a fan.  When I've told my experience to people around me who are fans of the Seahawks, it's like they're shocked and I get the "oh that's the minority, and we're just passionate" speech.  It's funny, because not a single of the "majority" stepped in to help us or to say anything to the people doing this to us, so I call bullshit.  If you're a Seahawks fan and one of this supposed majority, then I really hope if you see something like this happening in your stadium that you do the right thing and SAY SOMETHING to the people doing it.  If you don't, plus you justify the behavior with "oh we're just passionate fans" then you are a huge part of the problem.  I have no tolerance for people who see people acting like violent asshats to other people and do nothing to help.  I am especially disappointed in the women I've talked to who are nonplussed by what happened to us.  I would hope that we could all be in the "my outfit doesn't give a man the right to put his hands on me" sisterhood, but I guess not.

You see?  Blood boiling.  It's been years, and my blood is still boiling.  I usually do not get this worked up about sports, not even about my own teams, but oh man this is like a raw nerve.  I hate it because Seattle is an otherwise very beautiful city that has given us some of the best music of all time.  We even had our honeymoon in Seattle, and I'm sure it will not shock you that it was because we went to see a concert, plus visit Jimi Hendrix's grave.  It's a cool place.  Then these d-bags had to somewhat ruin the city for me.  I'm honestly shocked at myself for choosing it as my next marathon destination, lol.

The Superbowl already has a bit of a taint on it for me because we had to put our sweet little Natasha to sleep Superbowl Sunday two years ago, and all I remember is us coming home and trying to watch the game to numb the intense grief we were going through.  It's not the Superbowl's fault obviously, but Superbowl and memories of our dog's death sadly go hand in hand for me now.  Last year I had to watch these morons win it and hear the gloating of their fans.  The thought of all the people who called us names, grabbed us and spewed homophobic, racist and sexist crap getting to cheer about something makes me ill.  I can't do it again this year.  I don't care for the Pats (though through gritted teeth she says "Go Pats"), so it just seems pointless to go through the motions of watching the game.  So we're going to go see a movie instead.  Anyway, sorry to get off on that angry tangent, but I had to get it out of my system.

On a more positive note, my back feels fine today after my run yesterday, so I think that I'm probably clear to get back into the game and start working up some mileage.  No more weights for me until maybe mid February.  I took Molly out today and walked her a mile, then ran a mile by myself, then walked another mile with her.  The running part went fine, my breathing was actually better today and my legs felt less heavy.  I think this Sunday I am going to try to do 4-5 miles again.  My goal by the time May/June rolls around is to easily pull a 7 mile run out of my butt (that really didn't sound right did it?), because I feel like being able to go running (not walking) for 7 miles relatively effortlessly is a good place to start marathon training.  I need to start poking around for a training plan that I can work with and start some planning in earnest.

Also positive is the latest shipment of fruit we got from Harry and David.  It's the last part of what we ordered over Christmas, a box a "Cushman's Honeybells" which are basically tangelos.  We kind of cracked up because they came with plastic bibs because according to H&D, they are so juicy you will need one.  They really are pretty juicy, though I'm not dramatic enough to eat an orange while wearing a lobster bib.  They are seriously some of the best citrus I've ever had though, we got them Saturday and have almost demolished the box already.  You'd think we were trying to stave off scurvy.  We have a coupon for 20% off our next order, so it's tempting to get another box!


  1. Holy crap. Holy crap. That sucks! I hate people like that. I cannot even imagine. How terrible! I hear bad things about Pittsburgh fans. And one time I had a guy at a Ravens game call me a bitch for wearing a Lions shirt (to which I yelled back "piss of, the Lions just lost 45-3"). But, nothing like that.That is horrible. I like friendly banter as much as the next person but come on. I'm sorry.

    And while I can't boycott the Superbowl, we are taking the kiddos to my husband's friend's house, I will hang out upstairs with the kidlets watching whatever Disney movie I pick and think anti-Seahawks thoughts for you. Solidarity, sister!

    Although I can't root for New England. Because I want to nutpunch Tom Brady and Bill Belichik.

  2. Good grief. I had no idea. What an awful experience to have to endure. Reminds me a bit of Alabama fans. I have 0 preference in the S.B. this year other than the commercials and the new Age of Ultron trailer that they are likely to release then. OH! And The Blacklist comes back on after. So there's that.

  3. That is completely horrendous...definitely not a "petty thing Mary irrationally hates." I think my "hate" of the Patriots is totally justified, but is only based on their big ol' cheating ways - 13 years since they stole the Super Bowl from the Rams and it still stings. Or maybe it is because they keep adding fuel to the fire. I digress. We are going to a Super Bowl party - hopefully not just for the food :)