We've been taking it pretty easy today, although we did take Molly for a 2 mile walk and I did my wall sit challenge, which was the only challenge on the calendar for today. I've really continued to struggle mentally with body image this week, and today was no different. I tried on pretty much every shirt in my closet this afternoon to put together a suitable outfit, and every time I looked in the mirror I thought my anxiety was going to go through the roof. It's difficult to explain the inner monologue, but it usually goes something like this: "Oh Jesus, look at this, now I look pregnant. Maybe if I put on this shirt...no, now my boobs look disgusting and huge. Maybe these pants will balance it out...no now everyone can see how gross my stomach is." So on and so forth. That has been my battle all week, getting dressed is like literally going to war with myself. It's confusing to feel so positive and confident one week, but then feel so awful the next especially when there is no "reason". It's completely mental/hormonal. I gave into it last night and ate a ton of food from this great Greek place by our house and drank a couple glasses of wine. Because you know, drinking a depressant always helps being depressed right?
I am still proud of myself for tracking all of the crappy food I ate (I literally accidentally typed "hate" instead of ate at first...freudian slip much?) in MFP. I don't know why out of all the other good habits I dropped this week why I feel so determined to continue tracking and keep my now 62 day streak going. But at least I kept it and am still seeing the honest truth of how bad it's been. I do feel like I am somewhat pulling out of this funk and can just get back into tomorrow. I am going to enjoy Kachka tonight and then wake up with my head on straight tomorrow and quit wallowing.
To end on a silly note, Eric and I were kvetching the other night that we never get any type of gift basket stuff, even though we send a ton of it as gifts. I know, it's the stupid first world problem stuff that we married people sometimes kvetch about. Anyways we finally decided to just order a gift basket for ourselves lol. We ordered a thing of the fancy pants Royal Riviera pears from Harry and David because they were having a sale plus a free shipping deal, and just got them in yesterday.
I usually don't go gaga for pears, but I have to say these are awesome! They are super sweet and floral. I had one for breakfast this morning and really enjoyed it. At least I know what it's like to get something from Harry and David now. ;)
Christmas Advent Day 13 - "Run Run Rudolph" by Chuck Berry
Chuck Berry is one of my favorite artists EVER! Nothing really more to say than that.