Saturday, December 13, 2014


I am so stoked for tonight because we're going to one of my favorite restaurants in the world, Kachka.  If any of you ever make it out to Portland and are adventurous about food, then you must go.  It is very, very Russian and some of the best food I've ever had.  I love when you go into a restaurant, immediately forget what city you're in and feel transported into another place.  Whenever we go into Kachka (which I think this will only be the 4th time?), I feel like I pulled a Hogwarts and entered some secret door that took me into the Soviet Union.  I don't know why I am so fascinated by Russian culture or where that came from, but I have been for most of my life.  I'd really love to go there although I know that might be an intense thing, but for now Kachka is the next best thing.  I'll have to post tons of pictures tomorrow.

We've been taking it pretty easy today, although we did take Molly for a 2 mile walk and I did my wall sit challenge, which was the only challenge on the calendar for today.  I've really continued to struggle mentally with body image this week, and today was no different.  I tried on pretty much every shirt in my closet this afternoon to put together a suitable outfit, and every time I looked in the mirror I thought my anxiety was going to go through the roof.  It's difficult to explain the inner monologue, but it usually goes something like this:  "Oh Jesus, look at this, now I look pregnant.  Maybe if I put on this, now my boobs look disgusting and huge.  Maybe these pants will balance it now everyone can see how gross my stomach is."  So on and so forth.  That has been my battle all week, getting dressed is like literally going to war with myself.  It's confusing to feel so positive and confident one week, but then feel so awful the next especially when there is no "reason".  It's completely mental/hormonal.  I gave into it last night and ate a ton of food from this great Greek place by our house and drank a couple glasses of wine.  Because you know, drinking a depressant always helps being depressed right?  

I am still proud of myself for tracking all of the crappy food I ate (I literally accidentally typed "hate" instead of ate at first...freudian slip much?) in MFP.  I don't know why out of all the other good habits I dropped this week why I feel so determined to continue tracking and keep my now 62 day streak going.  But at least I kept it and am still seeing the honest truth of how bad it's been.  I do feel like I am somewhat pulling out of this funk and can just get back into tomorrow.  I am going to enjoy Kachka tonight and then wake up with my head on straight tomorrow and quit wallowing.

To end on a silly note, Eric and I were kvetching the other night that we never get any type of gift basket stuff, even though we send a ton of it as gifts.  I know, it's the stupid first world problem stuff that we married people sometimes kvetch about.  Anyways we finally decided to just order a gift basket for ourselves lol.  We ordered a thing of the fancy pants Royal Riviera pears from Harry and David because they were having a sale plus a free shipping deal, and just got them in yesterday.

I usually don't go gaga for pears, but I have to say these are awesome!  They are super sweet and floral.  I had one for breakfast this morning and really enjoyed it.  At least I know what it's like to get something from Harry and David now.  ;)

Christmas Advent Day 13 - "Run Run Rudolph" by Chuck Berry

Chuck Berry is one of my favorite artists EVER!  Nothing really more to say than that.


  1. Have you tried wearing like an empire waist dress with a wide belt or that type of shirt over your pants? Because it seems like from the photos, your body type would look very cute in one. If you are tall, have a large bust, small waist and thin legs, that is what I always see the fashion "experts" recommending. Why not highlight your assets instead of looking in the mirror and focusing on what you see as a flaw? Just a suggestion. Something like this sort of...

    1. That is such a pretty dress! You have great taste. I guess my issue is that I don't consider my "girls" an asset, they are just a burden. Most of the time I can kind of fake my way through life with huge sweatshirts/t-shirts, but when I have to put on nice clothes I see how huge they are and it totally bums me out. I think that's kind of what sent me into a tailspin, trying to shirt shop and having unfortunate luck because nothing fit, and then seeing pictures and noticing how giant they still are even though I've lost almost 15 pounds. I'm hoping that they reduce at least a little by the time I hit my goal!

  2. Oh those pears do look yummy! I have trouble finding stuff to wear too and go through that same mental battle. I've never heard of Harry and David. Off to the googles!

    1. Harry and David is totally awesome, and they are an Oregon company! Of course they have all kinds of treats (the Moose Munch is heavenly), but they have a lot of fruit gifts too. I've gotten my parents the "fruit of the month" club for Christmas the last 2 years and they love it. A lot of them are fruits that I know my mom isn't going to go out of her way to buy (pineapple, mangos), so it's a nice way to treat them. I like that it's a useful gift that's also healthy. And it's like having Christmas once a month for them!