Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Attention Shoppers

So it happened again, and I'm not sure how.  I stepped on the scale and had lost weight this morning.  I literally weighed myself 3 times because I was like, no way did this happen.  But it did.  I lost 1.8 pounds.  I am trying to figure out if I'm lucky, or if I'm struggling with mental crap where I've convinced myself that no way in all get out could I continue to be successful.  I guess I am so worried about failing or being complacent that I'm always doing that to myself, but seriously it does blow my mind that I had that big of a loss.  Maybe I am overestimating my calories?  The one thing I'm doing that I never have really done in the past is the strength training, which apparently seems to be working for me!  I guess I won't look a gift horse in the mouth.

I know I've not really put my actual weight numbers out there for these weigh ins, mostly because it makes me want to hyperventilate since people I know read this blog.  But screw it I guess, I'm going to start putting the actual numbers out there.  It's not like it's a secret that I'm a big girl, everyone knows what I look like, but at least I'm less of a big girl.  When I rebooted myself in earnest on October 13, I weighed 227.6 pounds.  As of today I weigh 214.2.  So I guess that's out there now and we can all get on with our lives.  That's a loss of 13.4 pounds since October.  I am also well past the weight I was always "stuck" at, which was 218, which has been really huge for my confidence.  Another 15 pounds will put me in the 100's, which is pretty exciting.

So I'm about to launch into a post about clothes shopping.  If there are any male readers, you can hop off the post, it won't hurt my feelings.

Yesterday I did something you should NEVER do when you are hungry and when you are beginning your TOM, and that's go shopping.  Seriously ladies, don't do that.  It all began simply enough, Macy's was having a sale and I also got coupons in the paper that would have gotten me additional savings.  I am really not confident about that green sweater that I bought the other day, I just feel like it shows every lump and fat roll even though it's an XL.  Eric's work Christmas party is tonight and I want to look put together and classy, not like Kim Kardashian trying to squeeze the fatness into a shirt the size of a sausage casing.  So I was like hey, I could get a nice top to go with those black pants, yada yada.  I also needed shoes to go with the pants since I don't own heels anymore.  I ended up going around lunchtime, which was not good, but I honestly thought I wasn't going to be long.  Long story short, I was at Macy's for over an hour and came out empty handed.  So I have big "assets" to begin with, and with my TOM I'm extra puffy.  When you combine that with the fact that designers only make shirts for girls with no rack, let's just say my shopping experience had me so angry by the end that I just left.  I'm not even kidding, I don't get it, all you see in the media are women with huge boobs and it's all anyone can talk about, so why are shirts ONLY made for women with tiny boobs?  And I'm not putting down anyone with small boobs, trust me, I would trade places with you in a heart beat and then maybe I could find a freaking shirt once in awhile.

Then I went to Kohl's and had another irritating trip, though at least I came out with one top even though I'm not totally in love with it and might return it.  It's white, which I don't know is the best color for me since I have the grace of Godzilla stomping through Japan, so there may be danger of me spilling something on it before I'm even out of the door.  It's a pretty top, but it's almost too big, and I don't need things that are on the verge of not fitting.   I did get shoes, though that's another whole battle.  Dress shoes seem to come in two styles these days:  $2 hooker or sensible grandmother.  When I hurt my foot a few years ago I stopped wearing high heels with tiny pointed toes and went to minimalist shoes.  Not only can I not tolerate a lot of the styles now, but when I went to minimalist shoes with wider toe boxes, my feet went from a size 9 to a 10, sometimes a 10.5.  It's frightening that I was crunching my feet that much over the years.  My jaw was dropping at some of the heel heights yesterday.  I mean, are ladies prancing around in 6 inch heels the width of a kabob skewer?  I guess they must be.  Have fun with your hammer toes and bad ankles when you get to be 50, is what I say.  Finding a pair on cute ankle booties that had a modest, wide heel was like trying to find a unicorn.

Today I went to Ross because we need new sheets for the bed, but instead came out with a red blazer, a cute top that I'm totally wearing tonight, AND a brand new bra for less than I paid at Kohl's yesterday for one top and a pair of shoes.  So suck on that Kohl's, seriously.  The top I got is sort of silky and black/maroon with this super itchy beading at the neckline, but hey it fits and it's cute.  It looks really good with my matador pants.  It's just what I was looking for, a top that showed that yes I've lost weight, but also manage to not show too much (aka my still present fat rolls).  And ladies I ask you, is there anything more wonderful than a new bra?  It's like getting temporary surgery that only cost me $12.  I'm going to be sashaying around like Mae West tonight.  I'll have Eric take a picture of me so you can see the outfit that caused all of this strife, lol.

I have been debating about how to eat today since we don't know what kind of food is going to be at the party.  It's like, do I eat super light all day so that I can safely indulge tonight (but potentially be super hungry and over eat), or do I just eat normally so that I am full and only eat a little at the party?  I decided to eat normally, although that didn't leave me many calories to play with for the party.  If I go over a little it's not the end of the world.  After lunch today I ate some PB mixed with chocolate chips as a snack, which I kind of regret because I guess that was a pretty hefty calorie snack, and it depleted my calorie macros.  Ah well.

Musical Advent Day 9 - "Christmas Vacation" by Mavis Staples

So, it's a fact, but National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation is the best Christmas movie ever made.  I will fight anyone who says otherwise.  Actually let's not fight, let's drink egg nog from some moose punch glasses and listen to this awesome song from the beginning credits of Christmas Vacation instead.  It's a genuinely good song because Mavis Staples is the shit ("Respect Yourself" by The Staples Singers is everything), but whenever I hear this song I am filled with complete joy.  It just reminds me of how my family is obsessed with this movie.  We quote it at all times of the year, we watch it every year (sadly everyone in their respective states now), and it will always be our favorite Christmas movie as a family.


  1. OMG, your blog post today had me laughing out loud so many times. That was hilarious and so spot on! Thanks for the laugh. Sorry it came from your own frustration but you cracked me up.
    And, quite honesty, I have been reading your blog for quite a while and I would NEVER have guessed your weight. Either you are very tall and carry your weight really well or you just know how to take excellent photos, but I never put you past the 140s and always wondered why you were back to dieting again.

    Sorry, had to delete my earlier post because I typed No when I meant to type Know, and it really bugged me.

    1. Oh my gosh, thank you! I think it's a little of all the above, but mostly that I am tall and I know how to strategically take pictures. I am still pretty top heavy, so that's why you don't see many full length pics of me. I am about 5 foot 8, which definitely helps!

  2. HA, this made me laugh so hard, plus made me think that we are the same person. I feel the same way every time I go shopping. And I used to think Kohls was a more economical place to shop but the more I go there the more I realize how ridiculously overpriced they are.

    I know how you feel about putting your weight out there. It's tough to do, for sure and you are far braver than I am because I don't do it.

    Can't wait to see what your outfit looks like. Hope it was worth all the traipsing through malls and complaining about the kids these days and their shoes.

    1. Dude Kohl's sucks. They are insanely expensive and I hate how pushy they are about wanting you to sign up for a Kohl's credit card. Also, the music they play in their stores should have been included in the CIA torture report they just released, it makes me crazy every time I go in there.