I decided to move my weigh in days to Tuesdays, so I don't have weight loss news to report today. I decided to do it because it seems silly to do the weigh ins/measurements and then progress reports and pictures for my Stomach Formula stuff on separate days. Plus, weekends tend to be times where I exercise a little less and probably eat a little extra, so Mondays are never that pretty. So Tuesdays it is.
We were totally bad this weekend. I mean I didn't drastically go over calories Saturday and Sunday, but definitely didn't make "healthy" choices. Yesterday was probably the worst. We went to see the movie Boyhood at a second run theater here in Portland, and all of those places manage to have amazing pizza and beer just sitting there tempting you. I got a slice of cheese pizza and a Rainier because I'm classy, and then we saw a Louisiana themed place that of course I had to try, and HAD to get a shrimp po-boy and an Abita Amber. Then we got home and snacked more. At the end of the day it's fine, but I shouldn't be hoovering down that many salty/naughty things in one day.
Today is back to business as usual. I decided to leave Molly at home and go for a run this morning since it is frosty cold, and that's how I like my runs. I wore compression pants, a dry wick shirt, gloves and a hoodie. The hoodie was against my better judgement and it ended up making me feel like something was choking me for the first mile . I got so frustrated that I had to make a pass back at the car to take the hoodie off and then freeze my patootie off for the rest of the time I was out there. I did a lot of thinking when I was running, and realized that I just kind of don't like running right now. Like at all. I'm trying to figure out if that's just for right now, or if it's permanent. I don't really know how to feel about these feelings since the running thing has been my identity for the last couple of years, hell it's my blog name. When I recommitted to this whole "I'm getting healthy FOR REALZ" thing a couple months ago, I made a list of unofficial rules for myself.
1) Eat 80% healthy, 20% whatever else. Don't feel bad about the 20%
2) Do something activity wise every day. Doesn't matter what it is, do what feels good.
3) Quit saying "I'll try" and "hopefully". Either do it or don't.
4) No more self pressure and abuse.
5) Do what makes you happy for forever
I've overall done really well with my rules, and I think that's why I've been able to be consistent this time around. Running is a different story. Every time I've run the last couple of months I feel like I'm violating rules 2 and 4. Obviously running is an activity, but I'm not enjoying it. There is no enthusiasm there, and it definitely starts the self pressure and abuse cycle for me. "God I'm so slow, I am never going to improve." "I did a marathon last year, why does two miles feel like torture, what's wrong with me?" "Why can't I run the way I see those other people running?" That is literally the dialogue in my head the whole time, and while I can be sarcastic and self deprecating, this is different and it's not healthy. When I do my walks with Molly it's totally different, I feel present and alive, I look at everything around me, and I feel good. I literally feel like I could walk for 10 miles. I enjoy it. When I do my silly Richard Simmons shit, I laugh, it's fun, I don't feel resigned, I just get up and do it. I feel antsy if I don't do a walk or Richard, but with running I feel like I'm dragging myself to the gallows.
I am going to let it ride for the rest of the year and run now and again to see where my head space is. Once the new year starts I will have to have some sort of mileage built up to do the Shamrock Half. Other than that, I am honestly not going to worry about it. The way I see it is that I have plenty of things to feel good about, so I can't really make time to feel bad about the running thing. I'm losing weight, I'm healthier mentally and physically, I've been consistent in so many ways and I'm happy. Nothing wrong with any of those things.
I wanted to leave the post with a couple of food recommendations. One of them is a sort of gimmicky thing, which I usually don't fall for, but I had to buy these today.
I love avocado and would eat it at just about every meal if I could. I've gotten burned in the store the last few times because I've gotten the larger avocados and they have stringy membranes going through the flesh. It's insanely gross and a bummer, but I read that the larger avocados have this membrane and the smaller "Hass" ones don't. I saw these "single serving" avocados in the store today (that are coincidentally Hass), and decided to give them a chance. They're perfect because they're super little, I can eat the whole thing and not worry about storing the rest and keeping it from going brown, AND there are no gross stringy membranes. Plus the egg carton-esque box is kind of cute.
I also got these crackers in the store today. I really like them but forget they exist every now and again, then "rediscover" them. Not sure why I forget about them, I don't like many doctors, but I have no issue with Dr. Kracker.
They are super crisp, taste good, have tons of seeds going on, and they are the perfect snack with hummus, peanut butter or cheese spread. Highly recommend them if you can find them.
Stomach Formula Day 20
2 mile run
Breakfast: Banana (wasn't very hungry)
Lunch: Turkey sandwich with tomato and avocado
Dinner: Boneless pork chop, baked sweet potato, steamed green beans
Snack: Dr. Kracker flatbread with pimento cheese (Damn you Bitsy for introducing me to this!)