Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Richard Simmons Tried to Kill Me

If you have been keeping up with the blog, then you know how I feel about Richard Simmons and his glittery fabulousness.  If are a new reader, well...I have an unapologetic love for Richard.  I really do.  I know it's not "cool" to like Richard Simmons, but I do anyway.  He obviously is a bit of a pill, but that's kind of what I love about him plus he genuinely seems like a kind person who lives to help people.  I don't get the vibe that he's in the business just to make money, it's not like on Biggest Loser where they hawk products in fake situations with horrible D-list acting.  "Oh wow, I was so hungry until I discovered Jenny-O ground turkey, and it's so easy to prepare."  Hooker please with all of that.  Richard is also from Louisiana, and you know, hometown pride and all of that.

I also am not ashamed to admit that I recently bought Sweatin' To The Oldies on DVD, that I do it once or sometimes twice a week, and truly enjoy it.  You do indeed sweat, yet don't feel like you're going to die.  Someone on My Fitness Pal brought up that Richard was kind of the godfather of the dance workout movement, and it's like...yeah, I guess he was.  I mean would we have had Zumba or any of that other stuff without him?  Maybe?  But I digress.  Someone else on that thread mentioned this ab workout from the 80's by Richard that was 7 minutes a day for 21 days, and I TOTALLY remembered what they were talking about.  It's called "Richard Simmons Stomach Formula".  My Mom had it on VHS, and I vaguely remember her doing it.  I definitely need to work on my stomach, so I decided to try to find it.  I searched online for it, but alas you cannot get it on DVD, only VHS.  I do own a VCR, but I figure that I'm not going to go out of my way to get a VHS just in case that VCR ever croaked.  I mean can you even buy VCRs anymore?  So I did what any smart person does, I went to Youtube to see if there happened to be any clips of the Stomach Formula on there.  Bless someone's heart, they posted the WHOLE thing on Youtube (there are 7 different workouts so you don't get bored).  I decided "eh, why not, let's give it a try".

Holy God.  Two minutes into this thing and I was crying for Mommy, Jesus, and anyone else who could hear my pleas and come save me.  This ain't crazy dancing Richard, he's serious and all intense.  My abs were HURTING by the end of it, and I could barely make it to the end of the 7 minutes.  I made my breakfast smoothie afterwards, sat to start composing this post, and my abs are still burning so bad that it's clear I will be in a world of hurt tomorrow.  Somehow my inner thighs also really hurt too, which it's like whaaa?  And if you're saying, "From Richard Simmons??  No way."  Yes way.  If you are still skeptical then I challenge you.  Here is the link to the playlist:  Click for Pain.  The workouts are only 7 minutes each.  Do Day 1 and tell me that shit doesn't hurt.  (And no, I don't know why one of the guys has an eye patch, other than it's the 80's)  But even though he hurt me, I can't hate on Richard.

I'm going to try to do the 21 days since it's a whole 7 minutes, and you know, why not.  I took pictures of my tummy today and will see if there is a difference in 21 days.  I already had to break up with Jillian because all the reasons I hate the 30DS came flying back to me on day 2, so I need some strength stuff to do.  I know, my Jillian stuff didn't last long, but I had to quit.  For one, what's up with not being able to fast forward through all her talking?  You have to wait 15 damn minutes just to get to the menu.  Secondly, it's just not fun.  A lot of what she does hurts, and not like good Richard hurt like I'm feeling now, but just regular joint pain.  It's like, why am I going to spend time doing something I'm not eager to do?  I'm eager to do yoga, walking, running and my Richard DVDs, so I'm not adverse to exercise, so why waste my time on something I don't like.  If you're going to be healthy, just enjoy it.

We are going to a friend's house tonight for dinner, so I am not sure what we're having for dinner other than the salads I'm bringing over.  I'm just trying to get in enough exercise to cover tonight.

Breakfast:  Chocolate Cherry Smoothie
Lunch:  Hummus, carrots, whole wheat roll with coconut oil
Dinner:  ??
Activities:  Stomach Formula (Day 1), 45 minute walk with Molly, 1 hour Ultimate Yogi Gentle Yoga


  1. Bahaha Click for pain! Ouch I feel ya on the Jillian thing. Glad you found someone to help and that someone is Richard Simmons in his hotpants goodness.

  2. I had to give up the 30 Day Shred for the same reason, I was in pain. I have a hard time with high impact stuff (which is weird because I run) but it makes me knees hurt. No good, Jillian.

    I'll check this out at home tonight. I am willing to feel the burn!