Saturday, December 22, 2012

Christmas Vacation and Mental Resets

Ahhhhhhhhhh.  That's the sound of a woman sighing with joy at the prospect of not going back to work until January 2.  We got released early yesterday, and my husband and I are so excited to have life slow down a little bit.  This is going to be a much needed break and mental reset.

Full disclosure, since that is the purpose of the blog...I have not been very healthy the last couple of weeks.  There hasn't been any running really other than the Holiday 5k, and my eating has been the opposite of perfect.  I really have looked forward to this Christmas vacation, because I feel like it's finally a chance to reset and get back into a healthy lifestyle.  I physically have not felt well from all the nonsense of the holidays...the candy, the booze, the running around.  My pants are getting tighter, and that simply can't happen because I threw away all of my fat pants.  ;)

My husband and I both looked at each other this morning and were like, um yeah we feel like shit.  We ended up eating a healthy breakfast (more to come on that...I got a new cookbook and plan on doing a review, but have wanted to make a few of the recipes first so that I got a proper sense of the book), and now we're about to go to the gym.  I can't wait to move physically, to run again.

I have been trying to determine what derailed me, and I think a lot of it is terror.  I signed up for the marathon and just suddenly froze from fear.  I have signed up for a bunch of other races and it hit me suddenly the training that I will have to do, the discipline I will have to have, and it just utterly scared me.  This shit isn't a 5k, it's not playing around....26.2 miles.  I feel like a lot of eyes are on me (all supportive eyes, but still), and I choked a little under pressure.

My body this time says that it can't go back to what I was a year ago though.  Physically the food/booze/inactivity doesn't feel good anymore.  It's never been like that for me before, so I think my body's complete protests against the binges are a great thing.  I am coming back around to my original goal, to why I am doing this, and am definitely ready to get back on the horse.

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